So yes it is that time of year again, it’s my birthday. But this year I am forty and I am really feeling it. I never pictured myself at forty and it is scary. I shyly look in the mirror and find a grey hair. It’s my first present of the day, how wonderful.

As I make my way down the stairs I am a bit stiff and wonder if leg arthritis is starting to set it. Great I think to myself, this is the age where all the major things in life are going to be shutting down in my body. I’m not close to retiring but I sure am not twenty five any more.

I go through my usual day of getting the kids off to school and then drive down the road to work in a slight drizzle. Great, as I think to myself, a perfect addition to my mood; rain. As I get to my office I think what a great day it is to walk in the rain from my parking spot to the building and why I bothered even doing my hair.

To go with my balloons is the proverbial over the hill cake to I dive into it with a big piece. Why not as my hips is now beginning to spread as I near death of fifty faster and faster. As I return to my office I just sit and stare at the black balloons and ponder what my headstone will say.

As I look at my ringing phone I see it is a birthday call from my best friend Lisa. She probably has the perfect fun filled dig to give me while reminding me she is two years younger. But as I answered I sense that she is upset. I ask her what is wrong but she tries to play it off.

She tries not to cry but I want to know what is wrong as she tells me, ‘I’m so sorry to tell you this today, but I just found out I have breast cancer and I really need a friend right now.’ After hearing this devastating news I feel awful. Here I am in my pity party of one and my best friend just got the worst news of her life. As I console her and tell her it is going to be okay I am slapping myself for being such a selfish idiot.

The burden I share with my friend makes me realize how fortunate I am. Sure I feel older but I can look forward to more years where she is doubtful of hers. How could I be so self absorbed and not see all the blessings around me that I have. I was too wrapped up in my own pity. So as I pull up the drive I thank God for the blessings I do have and squeeze my kids hard and thank the man above.